Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
