lets start a swedish sibling band together
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
