Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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