everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
