dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
are you so shy because you have an std?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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