Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
whose ass print is on the piano?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Randomize
