p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
