But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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