i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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