this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
