It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
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I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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