READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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