Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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