you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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