Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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