Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
