I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
