Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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