I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day â¤ï¸
I have tasted many bathrooms
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
