oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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