just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
