I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
