just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
