So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
