Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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