; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
