her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
