this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize