I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
