careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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