Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You've changed since you got that strap on
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
