1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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