Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
