Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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