Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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