ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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