Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
