So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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