Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
