my mouth tastes like poor choices
I love having hate sex.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
