loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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