so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
