3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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