I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
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Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
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bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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