BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
