Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize