Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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