Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
What drink are we having for lunch?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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