i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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