There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize