no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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