If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
