I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
