Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
