I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
