You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
