This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
