Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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