You work out of a Hotel?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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