You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
