you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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