I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
