Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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