So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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